Knowing that in just a few months, I’ll loose something that I’ve wanted for so long. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that I finally have something so perfect and beautiful in my life, and it’s going to be taken away from me. And knowing that I can’t do anything to stop from loosing you is killing me the most. Time is my enemy. And it’s not just the time that’s running out, but it’s the time I didn’t get to spend with you. I wish I had done things differently. I wish I had taken more advantage of opportunities, if there were any. I wish I had been more confident, I wish I had swept you off your feet from the beginning. I have never felt this pain before. I have never had to carry this burden. The burden of knowing that the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever had will be gone. Gone in a moment. I’m so scared of the day that we say goodbye, but I’m even more terrified of the day after. The first day that I’ll wake up in the morning and remember that you’re not mine anymore. That I will no longer be the receiver of your love. Just the thought makes my stomach curl and twist. It’s so hard to look at you now, because I know that every moment I look at you will be one of the last. And I don’t want there to be any lasts. I don’t want to miss you. Because I need you. I’m so happy with you. I feel like I serve a purpose now. You give me purpose, and it’s such a wonderful feeling. I don’t want to miss your laugh and smile. They are the most beautiful things I’ve ever been lucky enough to see or hear. Take the sun, take the oxygen in my air, but please don’t take your laugh and smile from me. You don’t know what you mean to me, and it kills to know that you’ll leave before you do. I’ve waited so long. So fucking long. So fucking long to call something so beautiful my own. But you came with a due date. Like a book from the library, I’ll never get to finish you. Because I want to take my time reading you, I want to soak in every word. But I can’t. I’m forced to give you back, so someone else might read you. And I’ll never know how our story ends.